December in July

I was born in December. The 23rd to be exact and when my birthday rolls around part of me wishes it was was snowing or at least freezing cold. But no, it's bloody hot. The sun is out in all of it's glory and it bothers me. I mean if my birthday was in June I would embrace it. I want to spend at least one birthday during the winter. A real winter.

Just a thought.

Pictures and Consequences

When 'bloggers' post pictures that I like it makes me want to visit their blogs more often . Yet on my blog there are very few pictures. I will post them but it seems that lately with everything going on there is no special occasion for picture taking. I will find a day for that but in the mean time I should point out that I don't look exceptionally great. My "readers" are not missing much.

The 'consequences' part of the post is just a random thought that came to me. I was remembering the day I decided to go to a get together a few months back and the consequences that day brought. It will forever remain in my head and in the heads of those who were there. So, remember kids , think hard about what you do before you act.

E-mails

I have the tendency to write long e-mails that have no importance to them whatsoever. I've been trying to break this habit because long e-mails are like rambling messages. They keep going and going.

It seems like I care too much about the subject and the person.That's not necessarily the case but it's hard to keep them short. I guess that is the reason why I started this blog. I can write and ramble all I want.

Customer

About a year and a half ago my parents had store in a very touristy place in Southern Cali and I was their weekend employee. At the time I was probably not the best person they could have 'hired' . I wasn't exactly the picture of magic kingdom happy.I had cut my hair short and as the shrink pointed out : it wasn't a good sign. And so the day started with me trying to help our customers. I was helping a group of friends. Four people , 3 girls and a guy. I didn't pay too much attention to them because they were a group and groups usually talked among themselves. They were friendly but not too much. I do remember that they spent over a hundred dollars. I was a good sales person. They left and I went back to my magazine.Then the guy came back and I gave him a puzzled look. Maybe because he looked puzzled. He said, " I just wanted to tell you that you're really pretty".

I probably looked confused and all I managed to say was ,"Oh... thanks". He smiled and left.It was one of those moments where your self-esteem suddenly picks itself off the floor .It was not his 'you're very pretty' comment that made me feel that way. It was the realization that I probably wasn't exuding sadness anymore. It was interesting , I mean people talk about moments like those but you think their all full of shit until it happens to you.

Ugly

I was 12 going on 13 when Betty La Fea was a hit. I remember getting in trouble and not being able to see the best soap opera ever to air on television, it was torture.I remember it making me feel inadequate as a girl. Yes , a show about an 'ugly' woman made me feel inadequate. It was all for good reasons though. I remember using glasses and braces feeling a little awkward. What made me feel worse? Not feeling smart or witty enough.I was not allowed to wear makeup until I was 15 and when I finally could I felt embarrassed putting it on in public.I felt as though makeup was a way of letting people know I was covering my bad personality or making them deviate their attention from what I had to say to what I looked like.It took me a while to get over it and sometimes I still feel weird when someone looks at me while I apply mascara.
They're airing Betty again and I still love it. It inspires me to be smarter and most importantly it makes me want to find someone who likes me for who I am. Pretty or not. Witty or not.

Delayed

When I was a sophomore in high school there was a boy in my biology class who made me laugh. He was probably one of the funniest people I knew at that school.He was hilarious and he knew it(he was Conan O'Brien minus 25 years). It was not until summer had begun that I realized that I might have liked him. It was as if the"feelings" part of my body or had not had enough time to reach my brain. It bothered me all summer and it still bothers me because that's still how I function.It's illogical and childish.

It's a burden that works in my favor because if the person does not like me then by the time I realize that I do the person is long gone and I can't obsess over it. In other words, it's easy to move on.