December in July

I was born in December. The 23rd to be exact and when my birthday rolls around part of me wishes it was was snowing or at least freezing cold. But no, it's bloody hot. The sun is out in all of it's glory and it bothers me. I mean if my birthday was in June I would embrace it. I want to spend at least one birthday during the winter. A real winter.

Just a thought.

Pictures and Consequences

When 'bloggers' post pictures that I like it makes me want to visit their blogs more often . Yet on my blog there are very few pictures. I will post them but it seems that lately with everything going on there is no special occasion for picture taking. I will find a day for that but in the mean time I should point out that I don't look exceptionally great. My "readers" are not missing much.

The 'consequences' part of the post is just a random thought that came to me. I was remembering the day I decided to go to a get together a few months back and the consequences that day brought. It will forever remain in my head and in the heads of those who were there. So, remember kids , think hard about what you do before you act.

E-mails

I have the tendency to write long e-mails that have no importance to them whatsoever. I've been trying to break this habit because long e-mails are like rambling messages. They keep going and going.

It seems like I care too much about the subject and the person.That's not necessarily the case but it's hard to keep them short. I guess that is the reason why I started this blog. I can write and ramble all I want.

Customer

About a year and a half ago my parents had store in a very touristy place in Southern Cali and I was their weekend employee. At the time I was probably not the best person they could have 'hired' . I wasn't exactly the picture of magic kingdom happy.I had cut my hair short and as the shrink pointed out : it wasn't a good sign. And so the day started with me trying to help our customers. I was helping a group of friends. Four people , 3 girls and a guy. I didn't pay too much attention to them because they were a group and groups usually talked among themselves. They were friendly but not too much. I do remember that they spent over a hundred dollars. I was a good sales person. They left and I went back to my magazine.Then the guy came back and I gave him a puzzled look. Maybe because he looked puzzled. He said, " I just wanted to tell you that you're really pretty".

I probably looked confused and all I managed to say was ,"Oh... thanks". He smiled and left.It was one of those moments where your self-esteem suddenly picks itself off the floor .It was not his 'you're very pretty' comment that made me feel that way. It was the realization that I probably wasn't exuding sadness anymore. It was interesting , I mean people talk about moments like those but you think their all full of shit until it happens to you.

Ugly

I was 12 going on 13 when Betty La Fea was a hit. I remember getting in trouble and not being able to see the best soap opera ever to air on television, it was torture.I remember it making me feel inadequate as a girl. Yes , a show about an 'ugly' woman made me feel inadequate. It was all for good reasons though. I remember using glasses and braces feeling a little awkward. What made me feel worse? Not feeling smart or witty enough.I was not allowed to wear makeup until I was 15 and when I finally could I felt embarrassed putting it on in public.I felt as though makeup was a way of letting people know I was covering my bad personality or making them deviate their attention from what I had to say to what I looked like.It took me a while to get over it and sometimes I still feel weird when someone looks at me while I apply mascara.
They're airing Betty again and I still love it. It inspires me to be smarter and most importantly it makes me want to find someone who likes me for who I am. Pretty or not. Witty or not.

Delayed

When I was a sophomore in high school there was a boy in my biology class who made me laugh. He was probably one of the funniest people I knew at that school.He was hilarious and he knew it(he was Conan O'Brien minus 25 years). It was not until summer had begun that I realized that I might have liked him. It was as if the"feelings" part of my body or had not had enough time to reach my brain. It bothered me all summer and it still bothers me because that's still how I function.It's illogical and childish.

It's a burden that works in my favor because if the person does not like me then by the time I realize that I do the person is long gone and I can't obsess over it. In other words, it's easy to move on.

Is it?

"Unfulfilled love is the most romantic"-X movie

I analyzed the quote afterwards and I realized that it may be true. Both people involved would always be thinking about the other person.I could probably live with that because of my way of seeing life.I would probably not see it as a burden but a interesting story to tell the person doing a E! True Hollywood Story on me .Before I came to the silly conclusion that I was okay with it I thought I would absolutely not be okay with it because it's also a form of psychological torture. However, being the person that has to date someone with an unfulfilled love would be hard . I would never want to be the second choice or the person they had to settle with.

"Vicky Cristina Barcelona" was the movie.The line has stuck with me and now I'm going to ask people if it's true.

Slow Death

My computer has been dying. I hope it makes it through but I doubt it. It has symptoms only dying computers have. It has a virus, we probably didn't practice safe browsing.

I've been making lists in my head of topics I'm going to write about.However I've been saddened by my computers health.

Mom

My mom is in Mexico and I miss her very much. Normally we have breakfast together and watch some lame show on T.V. Today I had breakfast by myself , a bagle and two eggs ( and coffee). I miss her because she does weird little things to show her love for me. There were strong winds and rain yesterday and if she would have been here she would have taken me to school. However she was gone and I had to walk to the stop with the wind and rain .

Have fun mum! Enjoy the margaritas.

QUOTE

You never know how strong you are until being strong is the only choice you have-iTouch

My brother found this quote in his iTouch and it's very true.The few times when I never thought I could actually get through anything is when I realized that in reality I'm a tough little cookie.

X.M.M

Hace un año estaba en Mexico sentada en el piso del cuarto de mi hermana Xochitl.Sentada porque estaba limpiando el cuarto. El cuarto que es nuestro cuando voy cada año. Empece por la ropa que dejabamos tirada todas las mañanas que ella se cambiaba para irse a trabajar y yo para hacer nada mas que escuchar musica y platicar con los abuelitos. Sin importarme si la ropa era mia o no la meti a los cajones.



Despues de recoger la ropa me fije debajo de la cama para sacar los zapatos que Xochitl suele acumular. Tenia aproximadamente veinte pares, unos tan viejos que dudo le quedarian. Despues de tirar algunos pares me diriji al escritorio.Encontre viejas cartas de amigos y tarjetas de cumpleaños que habia recibido cuando cumplio 23(tenia 28).Encontre fotos con gente que no le habla y con gente que no recuerda. El escritorio tenia todo menos lo que uno espera cuando recurre a uno.Cuando termine el escritorio ya habia oscurecido.

Cuando vi progreso me sente a organizar los papeles que tenian cara de importancia.

Abri un cajon para buscar espacio.Entontre una foto de una niña cortando un pastel.Voltie la foto y decia 'Xochitl'.Al ver la foto me puse a analizar la vida de mi hermana. Y en medio de todos los papeles me puse a llorar. Me conmovio por muchas razones que solo Xochitl sabe. Me puse a pensar en la niña de la foto y en la vida que le esperaba.

No una vida mala pero un vida que solo ella puede explicar y solo uno puede tratar de entender. Lloraba porque apezar de todo Xochitl es una de las mejores personas que e conocido en mi vida.Despedirme de ella nunca es facil pero nunca temo que por la distancia diminuya nuestro amor.Su nobleza, su sentido de humor, su habilidad de poder perdonar hace que sea imposible olvidarla.

Me robe su foto. La puse en mi cartera y permanece ahi.

Love is Love

We are a week from V day and this is my way of contributing to the commercial holiday.

Love is Love. No matter who you love, love brings up the same feelings anywhere. Whether you are a man in love with a woman or a man in love with a man. Love is Love.Why are we okay with showing kids violence but not okay with seeing two people of the same sex holding hands?

Being a man is not about how many women he has slept with or how many fights he has been in. Being a man is about being kind and being the best human being possible.

We all have the same biological symptoms when in love . Why not try and relate rather than criticize?Imagine being in love with someone and not being able to hold hands for fear of what others might yell at you?

Love is Love people.

My First...

...Spanish post coming tomorrow.

Exciting and Weird. My Spanish is good but not great when it comes to writing it.

We shall see.

I hope it's ok. Actually I hope the person that it's aimed for likes it.

Happy Gilmore

I was a big fan of Gilmore Girls when it aired and I'm not ashamed to admit it.
I loved the smart writing and witty lines which is where I learned how to deviate serious conversations with a funny ( or so I thought) comment.

I miss that show but I'm glad it walked away with grace and dignity. I liked the relationship between the mother and daughter ( Lorelai and Rory).

Lorelai has Rory when she's just 16 and raises her by herself and they both grow up together.

Any who I was reminiscing of the years I used to watch the show and I realized how much I liked it.

HE

I misspelled He in one of the posts.

I've been distracted and I will not be anymore.

The Zoo

It's been a while but the zoo would provide pretty photographs.

*sigh*

Camera

I need a camera and I should find one soon before I go insane. We were driving down a street the other day and I saw a man in a cowboy hat and he was carrying a guitar. He was walking with another man (small entourage?) and they seemed to be disappointed .

Which is why I need a camera. My biological father gave me one a few years ago that does not work or I might have damaged it without knowing. In my defense I should probably mention that the camera was old. It was probably used in the seventies by some struggling photographer .

I should probably throw it away but I can use it as a self defense weapon in case there is ever an intruder in my house.

Who knows right?

"Dad" is out of the picture all of my life and unknowingly saves daughter's life.

Reading...

The Kommandant's Girl by Pam Jenoff


Great book about a Jewish girl working as an assistant to a Nazi officer. He thinks she's a Polish girl when in fact it's all just a cover up. She escaped from the ghetto .Also, she's married.

Sad story with a strange romantic plot.

When I was little I would accompany my mother to the grocery and I would grab a bridal magazine and look through the dresses. I would pick about 5 that I liked and I would decide that the rest were ridiculous.

The dress was about as far as my imagination would go. I never really thought about anything else. I never thought about the details (like my lipstick matching the flowers).

Even as we planned my mom's wedding this summer I never really bothered or cared to secretly plan my own.When she threw the bouquet I stood as far as I could.

However when our president danced At Last by Etta James with his wife on inauguration day I knew that would be the song.

I don't know if I'll ever get married or if I even really think it's important that I do.

But if I do decide to take the plunge Etta will be my girl.

If only the groom could be as smart and handsome as our 44th president.

An Organized Mess

My room is always messy but never dirty.
The reason I bring it up is because people are always asking me why I don't like to clean it.

Well a couple of years ago I decided to clean my room. I organized the closet, threw away old clothes, old letters , candy wrappers , and more than I can remember right now.

I organized a shelf I have above my bed thinking nothing of it.

I woke up to smashing sounds and things hitting my face. I screamed.

There was blood running down my cheek. I had cut a small piece of skin above my eye.
The "Dr." was a good for nothing asshole who left a visible scar , he did not cut off a piece of skin so the scar protrudes.

Have I ever really cleaned my room since then? Not really.

Thanks

Adios

I'm going to sleep .
I'm going to brush my teeth and wash my face.


Good Night.

I'll try and post things in Spanish tomorrow.

Buenas Noches

Mexique

People get mad when I hold cameras because I just take pictures of and I quote..."crap".
It might be crap but it looks like I went somewhere. I mean everyone knows what I look like and do they need to see another picture of me posing awkwardly next to a building?

No.

Author

I wouldn't call me an author. Not even the "writer" of this blog, perhaps the scribbler (if that's even a word).

I'm the equivalent of a journal keeper to what a real published authors are. Obviously.

But , for the sake of my ego I'll refer to myself as the "author".

I always like to read the back covers of novels, where they have the author's picture and whereabouts.

"Superman graduated from KRPT with a major in creative saving and now lives in an abandoned farm with his wife and 2 children"

That sort of thing.

Well if I had a back cover I would pick a picture where I wouldn't look like myself . Like the two pictures above. I'm wearing a wig and I've edited the picture so much I'm pretty much unrecognizable.

Sinai ( my name) lives in sunny southern California with 4 roommates (mom,dad,brother and sister). She has not graduated which explains lack of witty comments, syntax and bad grammar.

She is a Capricorn but more like a Sagittarius ,she is cranky in the morning and it takes her two hours to fall asleep. This is her first blog.

Lucky and Me

Last Monday I saw Marley and Me , the dog movie of the year . I took my little sister and we both loved it. I cried , she didn't and I have a theory about that.

When I was about 11 we got a puppy and I named her Lucky. She became my child and my parent's worst enemy.

She destroyed all things in her path and had no respect for people's personal space.

About a month into her residency at our house she got sick and I demanded that my parents look into treatment. During vet visits and applying medication my mom fell for Lucky. There was no longer animosity between them.

I loved that puppy and she loved me.

I always thought I was like a mom to her. She was an angel in my eyes .

We had embarrassing moments , she once vomited on the daughter of my brother's soccer coach and she once almost used my mom's friend's newborn child's foot as a chew toy.

She was a mix of Rottweiler and Doberman with some German Shepherd. She would grow up to be a scary dog. A friendly giant.


Would is how it ends. Would because she was gone when a relative lost her.

My mom picked me up from school and she did not say anything. She waited until I ran to the backyard and unsuccessfully did not find her.

I went to my mom's room and she was sitting on her bed, crying.

I cried until my eyes were swollen , until breathing got too hard.

It was the only time my heart has ever been broken .

Which brings me back to my theory. I cried because it was the type of pain I could actually identify with in a movie. I saw The Notebook and P.S I love You and didn't shed a tear . People asked me if I was made out of stone.

Last Monday I confirmed that I indeed was not made out of stone.Actual tears were running down my face, my eyes didn't just water they overflowed.


*The dog in the picture is my grandparent's dog. His name is Willy and he deserves to be mentioned for being there at all times even when my Grandpa gets sick.

The way you know about a good melon.

When Harry Met Sally...


I saw it on YouTube and it still makes me laugh. Most of the things they said in that movie is very true.
All the things about wanting to "nail" even the unattractive friends is true ( or so I've noticed).


"When you realize that you want to spend the rest of your life with somebody, you want the rest of your life to start as soon possible"-Harry

The above line is my favorite line in the whole movie. It's actually my favorite line out of a romantic comedy because it's the most realistic.It's not realistic in the sense of how Harry(Billy Crystal) delivers the line ( the dramatic way ). I think it's realistic in the actual feeling one would get when meeting that person.

I guess all of a suddeen you can't wait to turn 30 or 40.

Because who cares if it's the big 4-0?

Because you know . The way you know about a good melon.

Ladle

Maybe it's not married life that does it to you maybe it's motherhood but these ( married) people have the most interesting conversations. I was listening to my aunts speak during dinner today , they were discussing ladles. According to my aunt . she lost her ladle during a camping trip and she misses it quiet a bit. My other aunt just bought one and is very happy with her purchase.

The conversation wasn't dull it was pretty much taken from a Sex and the City episode only the ladles replaced the Monolos.

It was eyeopening.

weekend

I hope the weekend somewhat relaxes me. I start school on Monday and I can't imagine how that will go.

I want to purchase a camera or fix the one I already have.


I hope you have a good weekend ( my one follower).


Wish me good luck and World Peace!


P.S Cannot wait for the Oscars. How did Angelina Jolie get nominated? She just cries throughout the entire film.

Mexico Photo Deux

I don't remember taking this one but I do like it.
Next time I go somewhere I will not let people rush me.

I took very few photographs but the ones that I took I like.

People shouldn't rush people when in a moment of inspiration.


*eyes rolling*

man in the way

The last time I was in Mexico the gang (mom and cousins) and I went to Mexico City.

I loved it, one of the best experiences of my short life.

We went all over the city in 2 days and only slept for about 5 hours altogether. I took this photograph while trying to walk backwards and this man happened to get in the shot.

I have no idea who he is but he looks worried. I also have no idea what the name of this church is.

They go together I guess.

I thought I might post this picture taken about 3 years ago. I'll post a more recent one soon but I'm having fun looking for old pictures.

No, I'm not drunk in this picture. I think I might have been pretending the photographer was a paparazzi. I hope that's how you spell it.

Maybe 1989

I was about 2 when this photograph was taken and by the looks of it I was trying to go for casual chic which I sorta pulled off.

I'm also giving the camera my signature pose . I'm told that the minute there was a camera in sight I would immediately go for the scrunched up face.

I don't pose like that anymore but when I do I get a small glimpse of what I'll look like when I'm in my 90's.

The one thing I love about this picture is the colors.

I don't know who took it but I'm eternally grateful.

Seasons

One of the things California is famous for is the sunny weather almost year round. We are weather cowards. We wear uggs and scarves during the "winter" and turn on our heaters come December.

We complain when it's 60 degrees outside and the minute it gets warm people start walking around in shorts. I however, wish we had real seasons like the ones some people compain about in the east coast.

Fall and Winter

Spring and Summer

I would be glad to rake leaves off my driveway. I would gladly layer on the sweaters and pants during the winter.

I sometimes fantasize about walking through central park during the fall .

But alas, the grass is always greener on the other side.

Where Real Palm Trees Grow

At least I think they do.

Driving down PCH. First photo ( digital) which depicts how lucky I am to live where I live. Beautiful , not bad huh?

Short and Scrumptious

I'm going to try and keep posts short. My pet peeve when it comes to blogs are long rambling posts (which I'm already guilty of) so this is the new challenge.

I'll also try and write some posts in Spanish too. Might as well take advantage and annoy those Spanish speaking grammatically anal amigos.

Photographs

Can't wait to post some photos but I first have to purchase a camera.
I'm going old school and using(mainly) film. I'm going to scan most of them.

There's something about film that makes it more real and creative.

It's cheaper too.

where the heart is

I'm really not corny but I have to explain the " where my heart lives" bit. It's not that I don't love where I live . I love it. We have summer weeks in the middle of winter. The beach is a 7 minute drive from where I live. Everything is close and the streets could not be any more safe. So safe, it's borderline eerie. It's Wisteria minus the neighbors mingling and the perfect hair.

I would love it even more if my family lived here and not thousands of miles away. My grandpa's health declines more every year and I don't even have enough money saved to see him in case anything happens.

This would be a great time for someone to invent flying cars.

I guess it's not really Mexico that I miss so much (which I do sometimes) , but the people that I left behind.

If they moved here my heart could finally move back in.

I'm really not that corny.

not really an intro

I would have to say that the hardest thing about blogging is finding thigs that inspire . Things that are worth writing about. Things wont bore me when in a few months I decide not to blog anymore because the only people that read my blog are my family members. Inspiration will be the challenge and I at one point during the day will find something that inspires me or at least find something to complain about .

Unemployment is my inspiration today . I , like millions of fellow Americans is unemployed and looking not to be.

But at one point you have to open your eyes and enjoy the involuntary freedom you now find yourself in.

One of the many perks of unemployment are the long showers that one gets to participate in. I for one, take really long showers and when I did have a job my showers consisted of shampooing and "loofahing" at the speed of light. All in all about 5 minutes. Record breaking if you really knew me.

In the course of my unemployment (one week) I know enjoy 15 to 25 minute showers on average , and two bubble baths. You unemployed readers should indulge as well.

Now, for the most important thing of all .

This blog is not for the grammatically anal. I've warned.